Pandemic or not, communication is key


I had a stroke a year ago. The woman I was dating at the time walked away. I don’t hold a grudge but yearn for privacy again. I am deeply grateful that I did not have any major external injuries from the stroke, but my stamina is still very low and still could be. It makes me embarrassed and insecure about sex. Would it be “over-sharing” if I told someone about my stroke before going to bed for the first time? It looks like it’ll kill the mood and almost certainly make things less fun. Am I obligated to share this information?

– Externally OK Struggling in private

You don’t have to share this kind of health information before going to bed with someone for the first time, OOPS, but you might want to share it. At the root of your worries about post-stroke endurance is the fear of not living up to the expectations of a new partner, expectations shaped by assumptions a new partner might have about your endurance. based on your overall healthy appearance. Resetting your partner’s expectations will take the pressure off – indeed, if you tell a new partner that you recently had a stroke, OOPS, you will likely exceed their expectations (reset). And it might give your sexual confidence a welcome boost.

I am a 42 year old heterosexual male recently separated. I am going out on the internet for the first time and met an awesome girl who makes me laugh, makes me playlists on Spotify, and is generally amazing. Of course, there is a small problem: I am not attracted to her. I tried but I think the romantic relationship should end. She has mentioned several times over the past two months that I treat her better than anyone she’s dated. (It blows my mind – apparently cooking dinner, the occasional flowers, and bouncing messages put my head and shoulders above everyone else?) My question: How do I get this kind of news to someone without having look like an asshole?

– Anxiously hesitating about the impending end

Speaking of expectations …

You are a newly separated man and you have only seen this woman for a few months. If her expectations were reasonable and she kept them under control, AHOLE, then she knows the odds were against something in the long run. She’ll always be sad about the end of the relationship and she might think you’re an asshole to end it – she might actually need to think you’re an asshole to cauterize the emotional hurt (so don’t argue with her though. she calls you’re an asshole) – but if you haven’t made any premature declarations of undying love, AHOLE, then she’s unlikely to think you’re an asshole forever. And look on the bright side: she may be less likely to put up with guys who don’t cook, come with flowers, and respond to her texts within a reasonable time after being with you.

My friend’s grandmother was walking in a park when she was accosted by a man asking her for sex. (Yes my friends Grandmother.) The man was not violent. It was more of a plea for physical affection, but certainly a plea of ​​rape. He had something in his hand but it was not a weapon: it was a negative COVID-19 test. He showed it to her as if to say: “It’s good! I am not a real threat! ”Is this what we have come to as a society? Will the isolation people have suffered over the past year going to increase the rate of sexual assault?

—The terrible reality of the pandemic continues to scare

The combination of our politics and this pandemic seems to have shattered some people, PARKS, and brought out the barely suppressed absolute worst in others. I’m afraid things will get a lot crappy before they get better – in our parks, in our politics, and on our planet in general. Hoping that humanity manages to exceed my expectations.

I’m dating someone 13 years younger than me. He is a monogamous male and I am not a monogamous female. We have been monogamous due to the pandemic, but with the explicit understanding that we will not function in the long term due to our different views on monogamy. I’ll be vaccinated soon but I don’t want to break up with him after having a crush on someone else. It looks like a cock move. My lizard brain tells me that if he explored non-monogamy, he would come to the conclusion that this is a good approach. Should I put on my big girl pants and break them?

– Tear off the bandage although nicely

You don’t have to end it after you find someone else you want to fuck – or before – but you will have to warn this guy before you fuck anyone else. And who knows? He might be ready to try non-monogamy once the pandemic is over (maybe one-sided non-monogamy, for example, you are free to sleep with other people and he is free to remain monogamous with you) , ROTBAN, as you were prepared to try monogamy while the pandemic raged. He is significantly younger but I guess he is an adult (he is an adult, right?) and, as an adult, he is free to make his own choices. Your only obligation is to make sure that he has all the information he needs to make an informed choice.

Bi-daughter, in her early thirties, in a free relationship with a man. A question of ethics. Let’s say I’m on apps looking to meet women. I am outspoken that I am in an open relationship and looking for casual fun. I don’t plan on trying to take advantage of these threesome dates with me and my boyfriend. But it turns my boyfriend on to hear about the fun I have with other people. Would it be wrong to let my boyfriend come and sit, anonymously, in a bar where I am meeting? I’ll ignore him, he won’t look or come near me and my date, he’ll just be excited to be there. For one thing, I guess most women wouldn’t be in this scenario. So that’s a reason not to do it. But on the other hand, they wouldn’t know. I realize that it depends on executing the plan with discretion, but it seems doable. Thoughts?

-In search of perspectives in ethical meetings

It passes my Permissible Secret Perving test (which I unpack at length in an upcoming book) – it passes the PSP test until the other woman knows your boyfriend is there and never finds out your boyfriend was there – but he fails the Golden Rule Test. Which means it’s probably not something you would like others to do to you and therefore not something you should be doing to others. So Jesus thinks you shouldn’t do that, SPIED, and I think … well, I don’t think you should. It is too strong a word. But I really think you could.

Do you know what’s in commercial sex lubricants? Chemical products. And chemicals are bad and unnatural. Seriously. I prefer olive oil or something else from the kitchen. But every time I use cooking oils I find a tiny layer of dead cells coming off my cock. This is not a problem, but the cells seem to be coming together and it looks like grains of sand. I guess some oils loosen the dead skin cells and that causes this. Are there any oils that don’t?

– Stroking not sanding

We use a commercial sex lubricant with us SNS and our cocks don’t shed dead skin cells at noticeable / clumping rates or make our asses look like they’re filled with sand. And we know what’s in our lubricant: Our favorite brand, Spunk, is made from avocado and coconut oils and those ingredients, according to Spunk’s website, “are organic and free of charge. chemical products “. Now if you Google, say, “chemical makeup of avocado oil,” you learn that like everything else, including your precious olive oil, is made up of various chemicals. Natural, not artificial, but chemical nonetheless. That said, SNS, if the oils you use as a lubricant cause your cock to disintegrate, you might want to give Spunk a chance.

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Follow Dan on Twitter @FakeDanSavage.


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